Finding what is missing – the search for Enlightenment

A gift came after Dr. Sherman helped heal Brad’s traumatized inner child. Gone was the fear of failure that drove him out of bed every morning to work until he would drop late at night. The need to find and conquer an endless series of challenges, a need that had constantly goaded his mind and body, was gone too. It amazed him that he could sit and do nothing, and not feel guilty or worthless. Going to work and taking care of people with aches and pains became a welcomed routine, and getting STAT trauma calls nights and weekends was not missed at all.  It didn’t take long for a new feeling to surface however. It was the deep, nagging feeling that something was missing. The memory of the three beings telling him “to become square, square yourself” returned as if to fill the new void.

He did as usual when there was a problem to solve, he read books.  Barnes and Noble bookstore on Union Square in San Francisco was one of the largest bookstores in the world, a delightful place where bibliophiles would go wander through four stories of publications to hunt for new things to stimulate their minds. Intensely focused, he solved the riddle from the 3 beings, finding the answer in a book on sacred geometry. The circle represents unity, or spiritual perfection. The square represents physical perfection.

Aha! The vision was telling him that to be perfect in the physical world, he had to do it all himself.  But that realization made him feel like he was being cheated. What’s new, he thought. Look where trying to be perfect like Superman got me. And why did it take 3 beings to say that? He mulled over the insight as he walked around the metaphysical and spiritual sections that took up a large part of the third floor.

In the “New Age and Spirituality” area, a magazine cover caught his gaze, “WHAT IS ENLIGHTENMENT?”

Curious that he didn’t know what Enlightenment was, he opened it and looked for a quick answer. He knew a little bit, but if it was the subject of a whole magazine there had to be a lot more to learn. There were articles by spiritual teachers on finding freedom from suffering, and seeking the ultimate truth through guided inquiry. In the bottom corner of one page the smiling face of the magazine’s editor. Andrew Cohen, was labelled “Journey to India for Enlightenment.” It was an advertisement for a 2 week stay in an ashram near where the Beatles stayed in 1967 for their mystical experience with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, who had invented Transcendental Meditation.  When he read the ad, it felt electricity passing through him. He had to go, to find out exactly what Enlightenment was. Then he smiled. Thats what the vision was for. It was to get him up here looking at these books, so he would find out about Enlightenment. Now he had a new mission. (Brad will find later that there is an even better answer to that riddle, one that will aid in his ultimate and final success).

The trip was only 6 weeks away, but the burning desire to go was so great he pushed through all obstacles, including the threat of losing his job at the clinic. Maybe it was the energy Brad put with the word  “Enlightenment” when he talked to the clinic director. Normally the compulsive director would consider such a request crazy, but he authorized it immediately.   Soon enough Brad he had a passport, an India visa, and an air ticket to New Delhi.

He was about to go to the other side of the Earth and meet someone who would catalyze him to undergo the biggest inner transformation of his life, but it was not Andrew Cohen.