• business corruption,  Disability Industrial Complex,  doctor work,  healthcare reform

    Getting disability by threatening a bullet in the head

    “Tell Dr. Rosedale next time I see him walkin’ cross the parkin’ lot, he’s gonna get a bullet in his damn head,” said a voice on the phone at the medical clinic in Oakland, California. The medical assistant taking the call panicked. ”Who is this? What are you saying?” she said. She spun around in her chair to look for a supervisor or anyone who could take over. “Never mind who it is! Shit, just tell ‘him he done somebody wrong.”  The voiced hung up. His search for Enlightenment over, Brad believed his spiritual awakening made his life’s mission secure. All he had to do was go to work and…

  • Enlightenment,  metaphysics and mysticism,  spiritual journey

    Enlightenment lost to life’s illusions

    Brad made a second trip to India, less than a year later. The taxi dropped him off at 5 am near some cheap hotels near Lachsman Jhula, and just minutes walk from ShantiMayi’s ashram. After an 8 hour ride from New Delhi, as if to test his desire for attaining Enlightenment, he sat shivering on a bench until the sun rose. The hotels began to open for business, creating a mystical setting in the foothills of the Himalayas. Smoke drifted in the morning glow from fires lit up and down along the hillsides. It would be hours before the sun would shine directly into the valley along the Ganges River,…

  • Enlightenment,  metaphysics and mysticism,  spiritual journey

    An Enlightened Guru on the Ganga

    John adjusted his glasses and pinched his beard.  “Oh yeah, there’s some real good gurus all up and down the river. I’m going to a different one every day. But nobody can make me meditate like Andrew Cohen does, that’s why I’m here at his retreat.” “I need to see a spiritual teacher I can talk to,” said Brad. I have a hundred questions, and Andrew couldn’t give me an answer to the first one!” “Oh!” John replied. “If you want someone who will answer questions, go see ShantiMayi. She might not give the answer that you want to hear though!” John laughed, and a pained expression came across his…

  • Enlightenment,  spiritual journey

    A ticket to India

    An Indian driver speaking perfect English, dropped Brad off at the San Francisco International Airport. Forty hours later, another Indian driver speaking less than perfect English dropped him off near an ashram in northern India.  The connecting United Airlines flights halfway around the world, and the all-night drive from Indira Ghandi International airport had him exhausted, but the driver kept him awake with stories about the holy area, including warnings about the monkeys hanging overhead in trees. Embodiments of the god Hanuman, it was forbidden to harm them even when they plundered food from unwary travelers. They had driven by the ashram where the Beatles had their magical mystery tour…

  • Enlightenment,  human psychology,  metaphysics and mysticism,  spiritual journey

    Finding what is missing – the search for Enlightenment

    A gift came after Dr. Sherman helped heal Brad’s traumatized inner child. Gone was the fear of failure that drove him out of bed every morning to work until he would drop late at night. The need to find and conquer an endless series of challenges, a need that had constantly goaded his mind and body, was gone too. It amazed him that he could sit and do nothing, and not feel guilty or worthless. Going to work and taking care of people with aches and pains became a welcomed routine, and getting STAT trauma calls nights and weekends was not missed at all.  It didn’t take long for a…

  • adverse childhood experience,  business corruption,  doctor work,  human psychology,  personal development

    After healing the inner child, something is missing

    Dr. Sherman peered across his big oak desk at Brad, and then at Hannah. A wizened old man in thick spectacles, he had seen every misfortune that could fall on a human life, and the consequences. After a thorough evaluation backed by 40 years of psychiatric practice, he had only three words. “Go to sleep,” said Dr. Sherman. His tone was gentle but firm. “Go to sleep? What the hell does that mean?” says Hannah. “I brought you this poor doctor who has been bamboozled and cheated by everybody and their damn mother, and all you can say is go to sleep?” Her sharp voice cracked like a whip, causing…

  • difficult romance,  doctor work,  human psychology,  money and wealth,  personal development

    The nurse who tried to heal a doctor

    Hannah was an impetuous surgical nurse with violet eyes and thick black hair, who could pass as a 35 year-old Elizabeth Taylor. Brad had met her the previous year when she assisted him on one of his surgeries. She was so good that he always requested her as his assistant. He would never know that she always requested to work with him, too. They had gotten along so well that he had shared his misfortunes about Dr. Black ,and even his bankruptcy. “How are things at the office these days, doc?” Hannah said. She loaded a suture and handed him the instrument so he could begin closing the skin after…

  • business corruption,  human psychology,  personal development

    Predators in private practice

    Five years at Cook County Hospital transformed Dr. Brad Rosedale into an experienced trauma surgeon who wouldn’t flinch at the sight of the worst carnage. No matter how much blood, how many broken bones, or how bad was the mangled extremity, each body part was a challenge that he could fix and usually restore to proper function. The Uzi machine gun victims, suicide jumpers, and nerve and artery repairs from sword slashes, no longer made him anxious, wondering “how the hell are we going to fix this.” Now, it was just another day or night on the job. Chicago was a glittering city of polar opposites, an incongruous melting pot…

  • difficult romance,  doctor work,  money and wealth

    Doctor with a bright future

    The Trauma Unit on Friday and Saturday nights was an endless procession of drunks with fresh bullet wounds, people hauled off the freeway with faces smashed in from a steering wheel or windshield, and motorcycle casualties with multiple fractures. By 2 am the place would smell like booze, blood, and vomit. Doctors barking orders and people moaning in pain were a chorus against the rhythmic  sigh of sliding doors opening, and gurney wheels squeaking. The clinical rotations ignited a fire inside of Brad. These people need help. Seizing the opportunity, the 3rd year medical student would scrub into surgery every chance he got. Helping the residents by retracting the skin…

  • difficult romance,  doctor work,  personal development

    An application for medical school

    Brad hoped that deciding to become a doctor would impress his pretty 25 year-old college undergraduate adviser. Sitting in front of her little desk in the Behavioral Sciences building, he announced his decision, and she smiled. That helped him get the courage to suddenly ask “Hey Liz, I was wondering if you would go see a movie with me?” Her eyes widened, but she toned it down in a way that many women who get a lot of propositions do. “Sure why not? What movie did you have in mind?” “I’ll find something,” he said. Shy around girls, he was feeling nervous and caught off guard. “How about Friday evening?”…