Discoveries about the ultimate reality

In one fluid motion, Cassy shoved her chair back, sprang her lanky frame to its full height, raised her arms above her shoulders, and shouted: “This table is real!” Then she bent forward and swung her forearms down. Bang! The table shook and everyone jumped in their seats.

The outburst made Brad’s stomach churn. What did I say to cause that? His medical experience forced him to look at her arms for signs of an injury. No evidence of broken bones. But that must have hurt.

Returning to her chair, Cassy looked around at the dozen startled faces. Her eyes were burning like fiery coals, and a tight frown had formed on her face. Then she settled her gaze on Brad.

He returned Cassy’s stare briefly, then looked around at the others. Several were frozen in their chairs. One man had jerked an arm up to block the attack. Now he lowered it. A woman pushed her chair back, stood, turned, and hastily marched out of the room.

Shane, the facilitator of the San Francisco Self-Inquiry Group, inhaled deeply, cleared his throat, and said, “Let’s go to the next question.” Papers rustled, and butts shifted in their chairs.

Good for Shane, keeping his cool. Someone else might have dragged her butt kicking and screaming right out of here, thought Brad.

Before Cassy attacked the table, Shane had introduced the question – What is reality? It was one of Brad’s favorite subjects, and he had been inspired to share.

“This table,” he had said, slapping it gently with one hand, “was not a table 100 years ago. It was a tree in a forest. A hundred years from now it will be sawdust, or ashes from a fire or pieces of wood in a landfill. Everything has a beginning and an end. In the ultimate reality, objects or things are not real. Reality is that which has no beginning or end. This deepest reality is eternal, and everything else is an illusion. This table is an illusion. It is transient, and not the ultimate reality.”

He had been pleased with his explanation, and confident of its truth. Then[,] Cassy had shut down any further discussion on reality.

As Shane opened the discussion for the next topic, Brad’s mind spun. I didn’t make this stuff up. All of the great spiritual masters and teachers, from Buddha to the present day, said similar things about reality. I thought I could help someone understand…Why was she so angry? It must be fear…

He sat with his mind stirring, eyes on the table, watching Cassy in his peripheral vision. With her shaggy hair, baggy yellow sweater, and darting, bright blue eyes, he would never imagine that she would tower up like a monster, frighten everyone, and smash a table.

“Brad, how about sharing your views on compassion?” Shane said.

“I’ll pass,” said Brad. He was deep in thought and was committed to finishing it. The discussion continued around the table.

Aha! It came to him. Using the table to define reality had triggered the primal fear of nonexistence. I can’t blame her…that is a horrible thing to face, it made me feel sick for two weeks…the teachers refer to it as the death of the old self or ego…just a hint of the primal fear would frighten someone who isn’t ready. Poor Cassy.

He looked at Cassy with the very compassion that they were discussing. She looked back and narrowed her eyes, and he returned his gaze to the table.

There must be a better way to explain the ultimate reality.